Hey , i'm back again posting(:



Felt like crying , dint know why.
Just a feeling , somehow about love?
Probably? I dun want to know why.
Cos , i scared that i'll cry profusely.
Which I dun really want to.
My tears dried up becos of you.


I cant fall in love with you anymore.
I just realise that actually ,
you're happier with her than me.
Should I give you my blessings?
Idk , i dun wish to know .
But I've been avoiding this problem .
I think it's time to settle it.
Perhaps , letting you go ,
both of us can be friends ,
talking like last time?
I hope so .
Time should be the best medication...

Hey , i'm back posting(:



A million words would not bring you back ,
I know because i tried , neither would a million tears ,
I know because I cried.


The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love,
love someone else.



If you love me, let me know.
If not , please gently let me go


I think they are so meaningful...
Kay , stop here. maybe post ltr

Getting near you , forcing a smile ,
really makes me hurt. But ,
now , trying to get rid of that feeling .
Maybe it's all just a memories .
Not really that kind of feelings.
I've been wanting to avoid you ,
but I dun want you to feel guilty .
So , I dint avoid you .

Hey , I'm back posting(:

Later maybe Kimberly , elaine , jiaxuan , ryan , bryan & luiyun coming to revise for common test(:
Yesterday , was like my pocket got a big hole. Took 3 cab to destination. All I sponsor. xD
First , kimberly & elaine came to my house . Thn took cab & let kimberly down thn elaine's
house. After elaine finish her bathe , cabbed to compass. Thn Elaine ate her lunch.
TomYam... My face was like so so red. Like blushing like that. Thn went arcade to find
Jia Xuan & LuiYun. Took neo-prints. All chio buhhs, except me... hahaha
Thn Elaine & JiaXuan took one more by themselves. Cabbed to JiaXuan house.
Thn revise lerhs. But revise for a short while , thn the boys called and came JiaXuan's house.

Shall end post. Needa bathe lerhhs...


you seem happier with her than me,
maybe I should really let go,
& find a new relationship...
But there's somehow left a few memories ,
etching in my mind . Hard to forget...

I regretted not capturing the moments with you.
but, it's too late. Maybe we're fated to be just friends?
Nothing that exceed that? perhaps? idk?
But, what I know is that , it wun happen anymore.
Even if you don feel anything, I felt it.
The feeling which really kills.

Heyy, I back posting(: Woots(:

Later going to grandma house, still need climb up the stairs to go to the room. So tired xD
But on top got air-con de worhs. Still can massage. What type of leisure is that? ahahah(:
Maybe, I really can forget the things happen around me lerhs.
Trying to forget gradually. Forgetting a person, isnt that simple.
It's like you're really having lots and lots of good time with him, but suddenly,
he's not at your side, wouldn't it be very weird? So, i must keep myself very very very ,
absolutely busy, & then , i will not be thinking of those kind of things that will affect me.
That was what I have already tot of. Maybe , it may took a few months, but,
after the few months, I may forget it. So, I dun mind if I took months to hurt myself.
Cos, it's really really very useful. Dun have much to write in my blog lerhhs.
Let me put on my thinking caps~ Yeah! uh-huh(: Tot of something(:


I really wish that I can just stab myself.
The feeling accumulate till I really cannot take it.
It's like the whole 12 year & 1/4 month,
there's like a bottle, which sealed all my feelings inside.
& now, I think i'll be empty-ing the bottle.
Refresh my memory, deleting my past.
But, i know, this wont happen.
Just my thinking. If only this can happen, wont that be great?
Human wont be living so pathetic when they remind of their bad past?

Tears started flowing down. But , I swear to myself that i'll be strong.
Not crying over now, but thinking of how should i correct it(:
that's the spirit:D feel so weird that meimei went to malaysia lerhs
never sms her. Like feel so uneasy. Hahah, meimei, faster come back.
Jiejie miss die you lerhs(: kay? Sms me when you get home. kay?(:


I really really wish that time can rewind & i'll nvr do that silly mistake anymore.
But, it wont happen anymore, not even thinking of it, cos all are no longer true.
the feelings, the promises, the moment, the outings, the staybacks, are all not true anymore.
Maybe time is the better cure for all sickness. & it's what i need now,
maybe i'll take a longer time forgetting those things, currently dont have the feeling.
Update next time(: Buhbyee(:



you're no longer the one i know,
you've changed, changed to a person whom I dunno.
Maybe we're not fated to be together.
Treasure the moments with her. Kay?
Stay happy forvever(:
I'll give you my blessings(:

~

Alot of things happen recently.
But, what I can say is that, I really being affected.
I'm not blaming them, but what i can say is that , I am willing to change.
After friendship problems, comes after relationship. He wanted a break-up.
Idk why, it's like my heart is really very very heavy. it's suffocating with many problems.
I'm tired of thinking, smiling, crying. I'm not wanting your sympathy.
Just that this year really isnt my luck, have been facing mountains of problems since the starting of January.
den febuary like that. I really dunno what I will be doing this year. I dun really listen what's the teacher is talking.
My heart seems to be stacked with many many rocks. It became so heavy.
You all just dunno the feeling of it. Cos, you're the lucky one.
I really really wants to be a normal person. Not the one you know anymore.
Maybe I should focus on my studies. & cherish the time spend with my meimei(:
My meimei is Hiang hee(: Hahah. Love die her lerhs. Now, i think i should listen to what yiting says,
she told me to think about the positive stuff & not thinking so pessimist.
Things might be getting better each day, each second, or perhaps, each month.
If I believe that we will be friends again, there might be a chance <--- that was what she told me.
And then, i think i should believe it. Even if the chances are slim. Now, after saying all my feelings,
I feel so well, blogging can be also a type of letting off your anger. I shld have notice it.
But better late than never. (: I must cheer up, not be so sad anymore. Now, talk about those happy moments.

Yeah(: today went out with sistas.
But first, went to RVPS of course(:
Hug-ged lots of people as really miss them(:
Then went to find mrs ng & othr teachers.
Thanks James for pulling out my hairband.
I'll find you for revenge next time.
& you can pass it to me.
But, u call-ed theodoric to throw.
then was like in the field.
Not blaming you. & I'm not an airport.
cos i'm really not.
Then, after saying goodbye to teachers,
went to slack at compass(:
Bought " slurpee " at 7-11.
& went to the corridor of the LRT station, i think.
Chatted for hours. That was the time when I feel that i can really pour out my feelings.
But, it dint really help. Thanks for comforting me, yiting & tine. BFFL(: Sistas too(:
Never regretted knowing you as friend, alright?(:

Thn came home. Bath-ed & sms-ed meimei(:
Hahah, told me that she's going malaysia tmr.
& not to sms her. Sobs~
No-one to sms to lerhs. xD
nehh mind. can sms others.
hahah, meimei, must come back safe and sound.(:
Love her forever(: heeeehhs(:
Tmr maybe seeing cousinxD
Hahah, so "high" lerhs.
But at skool not "high" , cos really cannot go "high".
Too stress lerhs. andand i really hope that me , meimei will have everlasting friendship(:
Hope so(: Hahah,
Gtg, cya. Update till hands tired lerhs.
Buhbyee(:


Ps: ily , my beloved meimei, Hiang Hee(: :D
From , shi xuan , jiejie:D (: